You know, I’m pretty sure my soulmate is dead as well. Just as well as he was Chinese.
I’m down with the interacial thing and I’m down with the gay thing but I draw the line at being interacial and gay with a communist.
Your shameless humiliation of the self-shitters is derogatory, and without merit. We are a proud people, and we do not take kindly to jokes made about our uncontrollable bowl movements. I request an apology.
Are self shitters telekinetic or something? Or is it some kind of nervous tic? Either way it’s kind of weird that you can’t control your movement of bowls. It’s quite comical how you have no control of your bowl movements or your bowel movements. Clearly the the will of the universe is not without a sense of humor.
This is awesome and so true. Amazingly, I don’t photoshop my okcupid photos (anymore), and I just took the big step in my relationship of putting that I’m “seeing someone.” Uh oh.
Hoom! 
Jack said
I’m really enjoying Hoom! I hope you keep it up Zach!
Scott said
I love this site.
Majeau X said
Good stuff, man.
Tim said
I have to say I enjoy this almost as much as I enjoy SMBC! And I enjoy that a whole lot.
Also I am amused that two of the categories on this site are “crapping behind one’s car” and “crapping one’s pants”.
KingTaco said
You know, I’m pretty sure my soulmate is dead as well. Just as well as he was Chinese.
I’m down with the interacial thing and I’m down with the gay thing but I draw the line at being interacial and gay with a communist.
TwoBuy said
Man, do you ever run out of good ideas?! I am soooo glad you don’t have a girlfriend sucking all your time and inspiration away.
Jack said
What would you call being racist against communists? communistist?
KingTaco said
communists aren’t a race so I suppose there’d be some completely different word for that.
LeRoiDeToi said
Your shameless humiliation of the self-shitters is derogatory, and without merit. We are a proud people, and we do not take kindly to jokes made about our uncontrollable bowl movements. I request an apology.
(p.s good stuff.)
KingTaco said
Are self shitters telekinetic or something? Or is it some kind of nervous tic? Either way it’s kind of weird that you can’t control your movement of bowls. It’s quite comical how you have no control of your bowl movements or your bowel movements. Clearly the the will of the universe is not without a sense of humor.
jameswillisisthebest said
This is my first post
just saying HI
vineetgupta said
My first time here. Good stuff, will be back for more.
Joe Bloggs said
I like how your protagonist considers the error in the approximation of Pi(x) by the logarithmic integral, Li(x). That’s some funny shit.
dragonfly183 said
I really love the “I shit myself” part of it. Thats so true about those things we have about the ones we end up with.
Harris said
This is awesome and so true. Amazingly, I don’t photoshop my okcupid photos (anymore), and I just took the big step in my relationship of putting that I’m “seeing someone.” Uh oh.